Wednesday 13 (Southampton Cellars, 21/05/14)


What the fuck was spooky rocker Wednesday 13 thinking, when planning the Unplugged Undead tour? Acoustic horror punk. Even debuting archaic Wednesday songs, in an acoustic form, having never been heard live. Is nothing, not even grisly horror movie references, such as the riveting ‘You Mother Sucks Cocks In Hell’, safe from acoustic versions?

After all, this is the man who fronted Murderdolls. The man who fronted the dress-clad Frankenstein Drag Queens, onstage with a jars of hot dogs and live chickens for no good reason. The man who, prior to performing the spectacular fuckathon ‘I Love to Say Fuck’ tonight, loses count of how many songs in his repertoire contain the word ‘fuck’. As it turns out, there are quite a few. At least seven apparently. Wednesday, in deep thought, and sincere sounding Southern English accented suggestions from the crushed audience, is a surreal experience for all.

Joined onstage by two other guitarists, the intimacy of tonight’s show at The Cellars, is instantly noticeable due to micro-budget Christmas window lighting draped behind them, and a light at Wednesday’s feet, in case he felt that a song warranted a slightly darker room.

A lot of work has gone in to translate even his heaviest, air-punching tracks to acoustic guitar, in some cases getting as loud a racket out of the guitar as possible, at least without smashing the instrument nor growling his throat red raw, but Wednesday sounds very relaxed and sentimental in telling tales of song origins. But this is Wednesday 13, and so still tempted fans to climb onto the bar, to the venue’s dismay.

Tonight is a hilariously awkward clash of jam session and press conference, as Wednesday takes questions, from which level of Candy Crush he was on, to horrifying tour stories, such as an unrepeatable tale of one water bottle and one tampon. When discussing his ghoulish cowboy attire, he makes no secret that “there’s a lot of shit going on in my head. That’s why I wear a hat.”.

The show is elegant in being a complete shambles. Not only did Wednesday change the lyrics of ‘American Werewolves in London’ (having felt guilty for calling Piccadilly Circus, ‘Piccadilly Square’), but forgot a verse entirely for ‘Miss Morgue’, choosing to play the missing verse afterwards, and lamenting how he is “a dumb hillbilly”. Quipping that he had spelt ‘Southampton’ incorrectly on Twitter, as though there must then be a presumably fictitious ‘Northampton’ did little to show off his UK expertise.

Wednesday asks “Who’s a fuckin’ tough guy? Who thinks it’s a bad idea?” As it turns out, throughout the last two-and-a-half hours, from opener ‘Transylvania 90210’ to inevitable closer ‘Bad Things’, we have learned that his premiere acoustic set, was a great idea. A fucking great idea. Fuck.


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