Predicting Wrestlemania 32

Well, that’s it. All programming on the Road to Wrestlemania is over. We have all the proceeding evidence available. Therefore, it is time for predicting how Wrestlemania 32 will unfold on Sunday – aka procrastination season. Here is my shot.

Team Total Divas vs Team B.A.D. & Blonde (5 vs 5 Divas Match)

Who should win: Team Total Divas

Who will win: Team Total Divas

Big spot: Brie Bella will get the winning pin, considering her promotional pulling power, due to her Bryan connections.

So Paige is a ‘total diva’ now? Whatever happened to her being the revolutionary ‘anti-Diva’? Oh well. This is a pre-show throwaway match that will probably be shorter than The Undertaker’s entrance. The name of the team alone suggests that WWE wouldn’t dare let them lose on the grandest stage that they have to offer.

Kalisto vs Ryback (US Title Match)

Who should win?: Kalisto

Who will win?: Kalisto

Big spot: Due to size difference, there will be a rather unconvincing Salida del Sol from atop a turnbuckle.

This is another match that won’t get much attention, not helped by the fact that it is demoted to the pre-show, and will quite possibly be slated for some unconvincing spots by Kalisto on Ryback. The title was not long ago held by John Cena, so for it to change hands in the pre-show is highly unlikely. It would be a spectacular demotion for the title if this happens in the pre-show, even at Wrestlemania. I imagine that Kalisto will soon lose the title to a heel figure, and that Cena will return to briefly feud with them (with viewers expected to consider ‘justice’, even if the heel’s win is entirely within the rules).

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale

Who should win?: Curtis Axel

Who will win?: Braun Strowman

Big spot: All but one of the Social Outcasts, will be eliminated in the first minute, leaving one fighting his way through to the final minute.

The Social Outcasts faction needs a big crowd-pleasing win. Sure, it won’t be as big a pleaser as a The New Day victory, but being the fun that they are, means that this requires that they win. On top of this, this win will be a good thing for them to be booked to bicker about over the next few weeks. However, I am guessing that it will be Strowman. This booking has indeed happened already, with Strowman being responsible for the elimination of the most combatants in Royal Rumble 2016 (tied with Roman Reigns, with five), as well as being the man to eliminate both Big Show and Kane. It is not especially thrilling to see yet another giant win (after Big Show won last year), but if any meaning is to be milked from this generic battle royale, Strowman comes across as one of very few men that this can come from. Unless the Wyatts invade later in the night, this will sadly be their primary appearance.

The Usos vs The Dudley Boyz

Who should win?: The Dudley Boyz

Who will win?: The Usos

Big spot: D-Von will get the tables…

The Dudley Boyz are fantastic, strong heel figures, and really should remain that way. However, at some point or another, The Usos will climb their way to the top of the tag team division, and WWE will make use of Wrestlemania to start that climb. It’s a bad idea, especially considering just how popular The New Day are (adding another face tag team into the title picture just wouldn’t work), but the event will presumably be exploited none the less.

Chris Jericho vs AJ Styles

Who should win?: AJ Styles

Who will win?: AJ Styles

Big spot: AJ Styles will deliver his first Superman 450 Splash in WWE.

This has been a solid and entertaining (albeit repetitive) enough mid-card rivalry that their matches have been numbered over in Reddit /r/SquaredCircle (this is Jericho vs Styles IV for anyone curious). While not all matches at Wrestlemania have to be a finale, this has to be the moment at which these two go their separate ways. This feud will end with a Styles win (en route to a title picture), and with such a great heel turn by Jericho that is built around being so irritated by the lack of audience respect, it will be simple in the eyes of WWE writers to find the next man that he will be annoyed by for the same reason. Expect this to end cleanly with a phenomenal flying elbow from Styles, followed by a post-match diva tantrum by Jericho.

Charlotte vs Becky Lynch vs Sasha Banks

(Triple Threat Match for the WWE Divas Championship)

Who should win?: Becky Lynch

Who will win?: Sasha Banks

Big spot: Sasha Banks will lock a winning Bank Statement on Charlotte, when Charlotte is distracted by her father being evicted from ringside.

This match should be monumental to the degree of changing the name of the title to be the Women’s Championship. After all, one only has to look at the Wrestlemania card to see that there is a Diva half and a Women’s half in booking. It is a fair compromise that WWE should stick with – but one can presumably only dream.

Becky Lynch should be the winner due to the fact that she is the person most in the need of the big win. Charlotte is a Flair, and Sasha Banks is, well… Sasha Banks. Becky doesn’t have such support, and only has so long before fading away. If a point is to be made for the women, it should be made sooner rather than later, and Becky is ideal. Unfortunately however, I presume that Becky will be victimized at Wrestlemania and that it will be Bayley who will make a statement with a Banks vs Bayley III in the months to come.

The New Day vs The League of Nations

Who should win?: The League of Nations

Who should win?: The League of Nations

Big spot: Rusev will hit Xavier Woods with Francesca II, and Xavier will spend the next few weeks complaining about her betrayal.

It is incredible how far The New Day have come. Who would have thought that they could have been the most beloved babyfaces in the roster, but it’s happened. It has actually happened – unicorn horns, cereal, trombones and all. That said, note that this match does not have any titles up for offer, therefore making it look highly likely that The League of Nations will get a win out of it. The New Day can get enough great fun in an opening segment and during the match that their loss, even at Wrestlemania would not be a waste. I expect that Xavier Woods will be pinned by Sheamus.

Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn vs Dolph Ziggler vs Zack Ryder vs Sin Cara vs The Miz vs Stardust (Ladder match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship)

Who should win?: Kevin Owens

Who will win?: Sami Zayn

Big spot: Zack Ryder will hang off of the belt.

Sami Zayn is now in the main roster, but what is WWE’s priority, and what should it be? Sami Zayn vs Kevin Owens should be a highly anticipated match-up. During the duration of their NXT feud, it was dreamt of being the feud that should have topped the main roster. However, I assume that WWE will rush this feud into fruition in the mid-card far too quickly. Considering how good Kevin Owens is at tantrums, him losing the title might not be that terrible, as he can rant his way into a title match in no time, aided by Authority connections. Unfortunately, WWE are remorseless when it comes to throwing the Intercontinental Title around at a quick rate, and Wrestlemania 32 will be a textbook example.

The Undertaker vs Shane McMahon (Hell in a Cell Match)

Who should win?: Shane McMahon

Who will win?: Shane McMahon

Big spot: The lights will go out due to an interruption by the Wyatt Family to attack The Undertaker (magically appearing in the cell), who will function as Shane McMahon’s minions in a similar vein to The Undertaker for Vince, leading to Shane’s win.

There are plenty of reasons why one should be unsure of this result. To start with, this match is not the last match of the night. With such an important stipulation as control of Raw, it seems highly unlikely that the hands will change earlier in the night, making an Undertaker win likely. Similarly, we have yet to see a Cena/Taker match at Wrestlemania, which seems inevitable, and therefore this not being The Undertaker’s final Wrestlemania.

Oh, and there is the fact that one of the combatants is Shane McMahon. There is no way that this match will be ‘clean’, and I refuse to believe that such a strange choice of match could happen without there being a big pay-off. WWE have a habit of going back on decisions very quickly. Just look at how quickly The Authority regained power after losing it at Survivor Series 2014. For this reason, bizarrely, a win for Shane is not a bad choice.

Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred Street Fight)

Who should win?: Dean Ambrose

Who will win?: Dean Ambrose

Big spot: Dean Ambrose, in continuing the matter of ‘the torch’ being passed to him, will bring Mr Socko with him.

So long as this match is spectacular, this is the one match tonight that fans will enjoy without a care for its result. However, strangely for his reputation, Dean Ambrose’s eventual Wrestlemania win must be booked as monumental. Yes, this will be a massive match against Brock Lesnar, but the sentimentality of the fabled Shield Triple Threat one day is where Ambrose finally gets his Wrestlemania ‘eureka’ moment.

However, considering that Lesnar is due to go on a hiatus after Wrestlemania, one can’t help but feel that this stipulation is reason enough for Lesnar to lose, and the vengeful method by which he will return later in the year, getting back at Ambrose.

Roman Reigns vs Triple H (World Heavyweight Championship)

Who should win?: Triple H

Who will win?: Roman Reigns

Big spot: Triple H will bring in his sledgehammer, and Reigns will retaliate with Barbie, which (or who?) has been left at ringside from the Street Fight. The final shot will be Seth Rollins at the entrance with Reigns taunting him from the ring.

WWE are clearly desperate for Reigns to have a big moment, and as a result of all that confetti not being enough at Survivor Series 2015, and no one really caring about injustice at Royal Rumble 2016 (except the fact that Reigns cheated), means that they are just going to make things bigger until it works. WWE are clearly desperate for Reigns to have a big moment, and as a result of all that confetti not being enough at Survivor Series 2015, and no one really caring about injustice at Royal Rumble 2016 (except the fact that Reigns cheated), means that they are just going to make things bigger until it works.

For that reason, Reigns will finally do it. This will presumably require a big crowd-pleasing pop for somebody else, as I seriously doubt that WWE would risk such a massive backlash as the closing shot. I guess for this reason, that the show will end with an appearance by Seth Rollins.

Well, that’s it. What are your predictions?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s