I hadn’t watched wrestling in a very long time. Years. It used to be a passion when I was about 12, and for the sake of nostalgia, I downloaded some events of yesteryear, and bought a couple of DVDs. Every so often someone might mention how incredible something was (most recently, I think Money in the Bank 2011?) and I’ll check it out.

However, after seeing a video chronicling the surprise nostalgic returns during Royal Rumbles, I decided to watch Royal Rumble 2014 to see who popped up. Of course, this turned out to be an infamous disaster. And now, a Wrestlemania with a current main event that nobody wants is on its way…

Hopefully not a disaster...

Hopefully not a disaster…

After I saw a few friends chatting about it on Facebook, as they were curious about how WWE might overcome a furious crowd like that at Royal Rumble 2014, I thought I would watch Elimination Chamber. A common consensus is that too few wrestlers are getting the main card push, and there is too much talent being suppressed, making events extremely predictable.

I managed to guess the order of eliminations in the chamber, so thought I would give the Wrestlemania XXX card a go, over a month in advance. A little nose around pages to do with WWE later, this is how I think that Wrestlemania will unfold. Even though I don’t know much about these wrestlers, after two PPVs and one episode of RAW, I just wanted to churn this out before tomorrow’s episode. Who knows? In a few hours, these matches could be unthinkable. Comment if you think differently.

 

BATISTA vs RANDY ORTON vs CM PUNK

For the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

ortonmatch

Who do I want to win?: CM Punk

Who will win?: CM Punk.

This might be more wishful thinking as opposed to a truly educated prediction, but this could happen. The fact of the matter is that no one cares about the current main event (beyond how loud the boos will be for ‘Bootista’), and tomorrow’s Monday Night RAW is in Punk’s hometown, Chicago.

It would be a safe guess that a lot of Daniel Bryan will feature in RAW to attempt to squash the inevitable night-long ‘CM Punk’ chants, assuming that Punk doesn’t make an appearance. However, the few weeks to come are enough time to build a feud, or threaten the McMahons and Levesques with leaving forever. Do you hear Chicago chanting my name? Just think how much people have talked about me and chanted my name without me even being here. Give me the main event, and you will never get this reception again.

Punk’s current absence could make a brilliant pop if he returns, it could have been planned for this reason. That said, I don’t imagine the resulting hatred for Batista would have been, and therefore, plans of Punk and Batista meeting seem slightly unlikely. But these are desperate times. Or not. It’s going to sell out anyway.

Apparently the currently planned bout is ‘confirmed’, and it would be rather naughty to withdraw something that is already advertised, but never say ‘never’. It’s not as if WWE have been very good at delivering what they promised. I’m looking at you Royal Rumble.

Orton’s has that belt for long enough. No one seems to want Batista in the WWE, let alone for him to win. Who doesn’t want to see Punk put them both to sleep?

DANIEL BRYAN vs TRIPLE H

bryanmatch

Who do I want to win?: Daniel Bryan

Who will win?: Triple H

I don’t know that much about Bryan, but I’ve been assured that this match is of great importance. Enough importance that it won’t simply happen on RAW, leading Bryan into the main event, instead of CM Punk. A lot of people have said they should be joint headlining event because, from what I gather:

  1. No one cares about the current planned Orton vs Batista event.
  2. Everyone loves Daniel Bryan
  3. Everyone wants Bryan to destroy HHH

The real Paul Levesque, better known as HHH, is not a very popular man. He clearly, in real life, has a lot of power. He can do whatever the hell he wants. The feud with ‘Corporate’ Kane has definitely gone on long enough, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the crowd’s love for Bryan would compel WWE to keep a personal feud going with the villainous HHH for a while. If it comes to that, then I hope the ‘Corporate’ reasoning is dropped. The Wrestler vs Businessman worked in the Attitude Era, as Steve Austin came across as a rebel. Bryan is just an all round nice guy.

The only thing that conflicts this is the possibility of the HHH feud ending before Wrestlemania, and Bryan being dropped into a triple threat with Orton and Batista. However, I still think that the odds are in favour of this match.

Most are saying that Bryan will finally be given his victory on the grandest stage at Wrestlemania, but I’m not convinced. I think that something unexpected, and maybe deliberately unpopular, has to happen at least once, and it will be here. Perhaps make Kane intervene or be guest referee. Due to this not being the final match of the night, I don’t think there will be a big spectacular win for Bryan. For them to get away with it, this match needs to be perfect. We know that Bryan can deliver, but can HHH?

ROMAN REIGNS vs DEAN AMBROSE vs SETH ROLLINS

rollinsmatch

Who do I want to win?: Seth Rollins

Who will win?: Seth Rollins

As Ambrose and Reigns are at each other’s throats, this will be pushed as a ‘shock’ winner, when in fact, it probably isn’t. Rollins has enough attention now, especially after the six-man tag team match against the Wyatts at Elimination Chamber, that he isn’t simply the ‘dark horse’ and token nicer guy that holds The Shield together. I’m not 100% sure about this, as Roman was given such a push with his record-breaking 12 eliminations at Royal Rumble 2014, so in breaking up The Shield, if any one man will take over WWE, it’ll might be him. However, I’m sticking with Rollins.

This could be brilliant, as the aforementioned Shield vs Wyatts match showed off that they stand out amidst chaos, but haven’t yet shown off how good they are against one another.

But two ‘triple threat’ matches in one night? This is the match that I am least sure about. Considering how Roman Reigns comes across, like Bray Wyatt, as the group’s leader, I wouldn’t be surprised if Reigns left and got a singles match with somebody, and Ambrose and Rollins got a tag team against the Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. As of yet, rising stars Harper and Rowan aren’t lined up for anything, so I think they need a use.

The bickering between The Shield can only last for so long, and it’s getting old. This will be the sad, but needed closure of The Shield for the time being. In the long run, I’m sure Reigns and Ambrose will carry on arguing, while Seth Rollins gets a big solo push, only for Rollins to be rescued for some reason, reuniting the team by Wrestlemania 31.

BRAY WYATT vs JOHN CENA 

wyatt

Who do I want to win?: Bray Wyatt.

Who will win?: John Cena

This has been on the cards since the Wyatts’ sabotaged John Cena in the Elimination Chamber. While Bray Wyatt has had a habit of owning some stars recently, such as Daniel Bryan at Royal Rumble, this will only last so long, and I think that the streak will end at Wrestlemania. This will probably be the beginning of the end of the Wyatt Family, at least for a while. Hopefully they will rise again for a rematch against The Shield soon.

Cena had a remarkable match with Cesaro at RAW. Whatever you have to say about Cena, this could be incredible (after all, we have two wrestlers from two match-of-the-year candidates in one match), assuming it doesn’t end the way that I expect.

I have a horrible feeling that this will end with a miraculous, and probably unconvincing ending, as Harper and Rowan (whose sheep mask I haven’t really warmed to…) intervene, after assisting Wyatt to the ring, and Cena destroys them all, despite his injury which nobody seems quite sure are real or not.

Considering how untouchable Cena is, he could turn up in a wheelchair and win.

BROCK LESNAR vs THE UNDERTAKER

taker

Who do I want to win?: Undertaker

Who will win?: Undertaker

This was pretty much confirmed from the moment Lesnar rejoined the WWE, quite some time before Undertaker’s unique signing of the contract.

Undertaker is a fantastic wrestler, but aside from his ongoing ominous aura, regarding match quality, it has often been his opposition that has really given the match its personality. Shawn Michaels, HHH and Punk have been masters of this, and their Wrestlemania matches had overhanging feuds. Lesnar… I’m not so sure about. He appears as more of a brawler with little personality (with Paul Heyman doing his talking), and aside from making him look a bit silly when throwing him through a table, even though it’s a rare Taker match, it just doesn’t seem nearly as special as those of recent years.

I think it will be fine, but not the big match-of-the-nights that they have all been since Wrestlemania 25. I’m sure this will end with an exchange of finishing moves that just can’t keep either of them down, with Lesnar shocking everyone with an amazing feat of strength, probably a spectacular F5 on Taker. I have serious doubts that he’ll attempt a Shooting Star Press though.

I want Undertaker to win, and I’m sure he will. In the long run, I think Undertaker’s streak will last until 25-0 (That will be at Wrestlemania 33), before retiring.

 

SHEAMUS vs CESARO

sheamus

Who do I want to win?: Cesaro

Match winner: Cesaro

In short, Cesaro is a big rising star who recently had a brilliant match with Cena. He’ll get a Wrestlemania match. Sheamus battled him in the Elimination Chamber, and I imagine that it will happen again. I don’t think Cesaro isn’t going to go away any time soon.

Though if there is any benefit of not getting more Cesaro, it’s that no one will be doing that swing thing. The way the camera zooms in and out is making me ill.

 

BIG E vs CHRISTIAN 

(for the Intercontinental Championship)

christian

Who do I want to win?: Big E

Who will win?: Big E

Big E is the Intercontinental Champion, and will get a match. Christian, notably a past holder of this belt, is the one wrestler who got a place in the Elimination Chamber that as far as I’m aware isn’t preoccupied with a rivalry. Big E has had some spectacular matches as of late, and Christian showed he could still be a bit of a daredevil, in the chamber. This could work just fine.

Yet another rising star that is getting a great push, and I think that it will continue. However, I think that this may be suppressed to the pre-show.

  

THE USOS vs GOLDUST/CODY RHODES vs THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS

(for the Tag Team Championship)

 goldust

Who do I want to win: The Usos

Who will win?: The Usos

The Usos and The New Age Outlaws have been battling a little too much recently. The Outlaws are champions and The Usos should be, but the inevitable Tag Team match needs spicing up. Cue the currently absent Goldust and Cody Rhodes. While it won’t be a wild TLC match, six men in one ring can certainly work.

Yet again, I’m pushing for the new stars, and the nostalgia of the Outlaws faded quite quickly.

AJ LEE vs CAMERON

(for the Divas Championship)

aj

Who do I want to win?: Cameron 

Who will win?: Cameron

Simply because there will always be a quick Diva match that few people care about, and these are the only two WWE Divas I can think of. Cameron will probably win, just for the sake of a grudge match after Elimination Chamber, and for the title the change hands.

For the record, I WANT to be wrong, which would make Wrestlemania a whole lot more interesting for me. I won’t touch this post from this point on, and will give it another look once Wrestlemania XXX is said and done.

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